As the clock strikes twelve, and the world move on to another earth’s rotation, so does my age moved to another number. Born in ‘95, makes the year of 2020 my 25th Birthday. So you know, congratulations are in order lol.
You know what every year, as I get older, gets more complicated. There’s no more year where I could say was a walk in the park in my twenties. There’s at least one thing that’s like a sick ride on amusement park that just turns your stomach upside down by just thinking about it. Maybe that’s adulting for us. Getting more roller coasters rides that simply overwhelmed you to the point you just sometimes can’t breathe. But there’s always something that I grateful for each time I wake up. Yes, even in the gloomiest day.
I’m grateful for wonderful time with my loved one, bittersweet memories, people with generous heart and just any beautiful moments that just makes me glad that I’m alive. I’m lucky to have a stable and safe environment growing up till now in family that support my decision in life. Even though sometimes there’s some arguments that just can’t be settled, we are a quite stubborn lots after all, but I know if there’s something happening with me, they will always have my back.
I grateful for friends and acquaintances that I found along the way. I honestly thought that I am not a model of a good friend. I dont really text nor call my friend on daily basis, or knew about the latest story on ours social circle. Sometimes I just send them memes or pop into their dm by commenting on their lastest instastory. But even with minimum interaction, our bond doesn’t disintegrated into nothingness because we know how each other heart are.
Myself 5 years ago wanted many things from today’s old me. Well, my 20 years old me was a quite idealistic gal. She wanted herself to be in a stable state in many factors of life such as financially, relationship, and so much more, so today’s me could easily achieve my life’s goals. Well, its either I was to ambitious back then or life is being such a prick to me. Jk.
Some of the things that my twenty years old me think she wanted are no longer relevant to my view of the world. Can’t tell you what tf it is because what’s a maiden without her little secrets. But definitely I grew out of that shell, and now continuously building the shell that I wanted, someday, called as my own. I focus on what’s mattered for me and try to grow myself into a better version. A status quo is too precarious for this state of mind.
I used to think that being not as ambitious as my peers is somewhat a flaw. you’re probably considered slower compared to other people in working towards your goal. But today’s me thinking that it’s not really a flaw, because there are some people that enjoying the process of getting there, rushing to the goal sometimes just defeated the whole reasons why this thing is their goal. So looking back now, I learned many things about the more philosophical side of life. Because life’s is not just about the end destination, its also about memories, valuable lessons, the people we met, and also the love we gift and receive.
So happy 25th birthday, Elvina. A quarter of a century flies like a blink of an eye. You’re here, and ready to take on the world again one day at a time. Take a break once in awhile when you need to, shout your favorite curse words, laugh at your past mistakes, cry like a baby when your hearts feels like to. All of this feelings are valid, and okay to be let out of the cages. But still, keep the leashes on your grip, because you’re the only one that know how to control them and how to benefit from them. And I also telling any of you who needs to read them the same advice above. You only need to listen to your soul.
Cheers from the one who cried like a baby more times than I care to admit,
25 years old Elvina Samantha