So recently, I have an emotional experience where I just bursting into tears. It happens when I’m going to MACAN Museum. This place are a modern art gallery that every then and now are showing a couple artist with various subject from Indonesia and abroad. I’m going to talk more about the exhibition on another post, so keep your eyes peeled for that if you’re curious too.
So one of the installations by Taiwanese-American artist, Lee Ming Wei, The Letter Writing Project (1998) are a writing letter project where you write a letter full of untold words to someone. It could be someone you loved, your friends, or even yourself. If you have a full address written down, the museum going to ship the letter to the address.
So here I am writing my words. As soon I starting to write, I knew who this letter I write are going for. Someone that I loved and never going to see again. As I write my untold letter, tears are just starting drop one by one to my cheek. I was so overwhelmed with the emotion on something that I just kept inside my heart for so long. It doesn’t take long before I literally sob.
This makes me think how much untold words and feelings affect us. Emotionally and maybe physically. A letter full of untold words is a really powerful blow into our unconscious mind. Especially in today society, where we tend to keep saying we are alright. We shrug our emotion aside and kept the memories that we cannot forget deep inside our hearts and mind so we could ‘function’ properly. We are so afraid to being not fine; because that means that is something wrong with us. We are terrified. But everyone should know that it is so normal for being not okay sometimes.
I have seen many people tortured and punishing themselves with their untold words. I have never thought I’m one of them. Unconsciously I have been pressing myself to delete the memories so I wouldn’t feel hurt. But in reality, I just refuse things that are making the pains stay longer that it should have.
By writing the letter, I embraced my pain and let go my untold words free. I may sob, look absolutely terrible mess and take the pain, but by acknowledge it, I let myself free from grief and sorrow.
As I wrote the word “forever missing you” then my nickname, I wipe the last tears and close the letter. Lastly I place the letter among a couple other letters. I’ve made my peace.
Whether or not you decide to reveal or write your untold words to someone you trusted, or you decide to keep it within yourself, in your own way,
I hope you find your peace.